He’s my dog. I liked Neil Gaiman’s 1999 short story so much that I decided to bequeath it to my 8-year old (at the time, 5-month old) Shih-Tzu-Pekingese cross-breed. Behold, my dog, Quinn.
Now I’m not sure if you know this about Shih-Tzus, or much about Pekingese dogs, but they are incredibly lazy. They like to eat, sleep, and have their bellies rubbed. They don’t particularly fancy taking walks, baths, or much else. They’re also not affectionate creatures, ultimately defeating the purpose of having a dog as a pet in the first place.
I might as well have gotten a goldfish.
Quinn hilariously resembles an old man. He has a white stache’, complete with the eyebrows, beard, and ‘Done with Crud’ attitude. He has the most beautiful big brown eyes, and ticklish lick. Somehow, his breath always smells of fish.
Now I’m amusedly annoyed to confess that Quinn – Short for Harlequin Valentine – spectacularly lives up to his breeds’ unfortunate stereotypes. He’s infuriatingly messy, refuses to play fetch – at least you get your ball back when bouncing it against a brick wall – and insists on getting himself into fantastic trouble one moment and whining for someone to rescue him in the other.
Quinn adores jamming himself under the narrow crawl space of the couch and gets himself stuck there throughout the night, or pouncing atop the high dinner table (in an obvious attempt to see “what’s so good up there” for himself) and getting stranded till someone comes home to rescue him down.
Quinn also has absolutely zero loyalty – A cuddle mercenary who works for food, if you will. You know that scene in 101 Dalmatians where Perdita bites onto Anita’s fashionable green suit to prevent her from falling into the pond with Roger? That would never happen with Quinn, not only because he has a grand total of two brain cells – one for eating and one for sleeping – but also because he’d probably be trailing the next nobody with treats and a bad case of cuddle deficiency.
I guess I did get back at him this February 18th – his birthday – where I surreptitiously forgot to wish him on account of happy holidaying in Taiwan. I did make up for it, getting him a birthday Wigwam which takes up too much space at home.
Happy Belated Birthday you little poop, sorry I forgot your birthday and left for Taiwan (and @fridginhell left in general)🙂 Hope you like your weenie wigwam. Also @fridginhell you owe me 45 bucks. . . . . #quinnypoo #quinny . . . . . #gym #strong #fitgirls #lift #weights #Getfit #weightloss #personaltrainer #gymtime #fitfam #myfitnessjourney #myworkout #yoga #hot #cute #swolemate #boyfriend #hunk #muscle
Quinn is incredibly annoying, he whines for no reason and is a huge coward during thunderstorms. He likes eating human food and wastes hundreds on the healthy pellets we specially purchase for a healthy Shih-Tzu-Pekingese diet. He’s fussy, and picks leftovers out of the bin in the kitchen. Still, I can’t imagine the day where I have to say goodbye – and that day will eventually come, I’ve made my peace with that – because he’s the Best Friend I’ve ever had. Way better than humans, that’s for sure.